I get lots of questions on masturbation most especially from ladies -yes, ladies masturbate a lot, especially virgins. Guys also masturbate. There is no debate on that. I’m not here to argue about who masturbates most, I need to deal with a serious issue.
Sexual urge for virgins is strong. What makes it stronger is the novelty, newness, the mystery and the hearsays about sex.
Masturbation is fondling your genitals consistently to achieve orgasm. Ladies may stroke their clitorises, while guys rub, massage or caress their penises.
Some ladies especiallly non-virgins use candles, banana, small bottles, sticks, dildos and recently Cucumber or whatever represents a penis and do solo sex (having sex by yourself).
From teenage upward, you will have a strong desire for sex.
It’s a sure sign you are normal and capable of having and enjoying sex in marriage. In your 20s it will be stronger and intense!
You may wake up feeling horny for no single reason in the world or go hot on spotting a curvy lady!
You may start noticing shapes and curves and you have to shake your head several times to keep the images off. You may get worked up on watching a romantic movie and discharge something. You check up and discover you are wet. All these happened sometimes.
So what then do you do when you get hot and horny? Have sex? I know you know my answer and some singles will never be caught dead sleeping around, so what do they do? They masturbate!
They give themselves release and pleasure through solo sex while claiming virginity at the same time. Masturbation is completely wrong and not the way out. Let me explain:
- Masturbation is not done in isolation. It is done with the image of someone in mind. It can be a lover, an EX, a celebrity, a married person, a crush, someone you like but incapable of having. You imagine having sex with them while masturbating. This is MENTAL FORNICATION!!!
For ladies, while inserting all manner of objects, you may mistakenly deflower yourself and also introduce infections into your genitals and womb. It will be very difficult to convince your future partner that you never had sex with any man except objects during your solo sex.
You kill your ability to enjoy sex in future. Millions of women don’t enjoy sex in marriage which leads to sexual frustration, adultery, lesbianism and feminism.
If you are used to getting orgasm by yourself, you won’t be able to get it from your husband. If you are used to objects in your private part, you won’t have feelings for your husband’s penis. You will always think of something harder, bigger, longer, larger and completely unrealistic! Women who complain their husbands penises are too small didn’t marry as virgins. They must have been promiscuous as singles.
- You will not have a good sex life as a man. You will experience premature ejaculation and your wife won’t enjoy you, this can lead to acute sexual frustration in marriage. You need self control to fully enjoy sex and give your wife maximum sexual pleasure.
A woman enjoys sex when the man can go on for at least 7 minutes before ejaculating. Because you are used to instant release from masturbation, you may not be able to go more than a minute before exploding, leaving your wife completely unsatisfied and frustrated.
She may close up, become frigid and stop having sex altogether which may lead to you having an affair, she having an affair or both of you having affairs. Self control before marriage helps you enjoy sex to the maximum. You are able to delay ejaculation, go on for a long time and have excellent orgasm while giving your wife pleasure too.
That is why total virginity pays!!!
- If you do not suffer premature ejaculation, you may have serious problem with delayed/ retarded ejaculation. A situation where you get erection for several hours without ejaculation or reaching orgasm. What is the benefit of sex without orgasm?
Rough masturbation with your hands kills your ability to feel/enjoy sex with your wife. It is hell for a woman to be under a man who thrusts in for hours and is unable to ejaculate. How will the woman get pregnant?
It’s the reason some women are seemingly “barren” and can’t talk to anybody out of embarrassment.
Thrusting hard for so long leaves the woman sore, frustrated and hating sex altogether. You have so much to lose sexually when you masturbate.
Abstaining from this degrading and ungodly act helps you feel relaxed, confident, have normal sexual intercourse and enjoy the pleasures that comes with sex IN MARRIAGE!
- You start having sex in the dream with a known or unknown face (demonic entities other wise known as spiritual spouses).
You feel drained, dirty, empty, useless and powerless after each act.
You start getting unsatisfied and wanting the real thing.
You fantasize more about sex and start longing for the real act.
You get a warped view of the opposite sex. You see them as sexual objects and start having sex with anything in skirt or trousers, hence, you become promiscuous.
You get damaged, hurt and broken.
You are at risk of hell fire!
These and more are the consequences of masturbation. They damage you and shatter you to pieces! What then should you do with your sexual urge?
How do you handle the constant hunger for sex?
- Get married on time if you are able to
Fasting, both supported by the Hadeeth of the Prophet, Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood said, “We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allaah’s Messenger said,”O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.” Bukhari:5066.
Avoid all dirty pictures, pornography videos, pictures and hot, romantic movies -they are powerful sexual triggers!
Avoid friends who say dirty, lewd and obscene things. Stop all sexy banters with friends and say only things that are pure, holy, needful and helpful.
Get busy with your life, education and career, there is more to life than sex.
Transmute your sexual energy: Channel your sexual energy into something great….
For those into it already, it’s never too late to stop!
Realization leads to manifestation..
You need to realize that this is an ungodly and damming act and hence, be determined to stop such and with the help of Allah, you can be victorious over such..
All you need do is to surrender to Allah totally.. Only He can help you..
Avoid those all mentioned in 3 and 4 above on how to handle your sexual hunger..
Never leave your mind idle for such thoughts to bear fruits(Let Allah’s Word be used to overcome such thoughts.. Meditate on the Word)
Finally, seek counsel, meet up with a counsellor; one in whom you can tell it to exactly as it is.
Source: Whatsapp Group